Horney to our internal conflicts summary. Karen Horney “Our Internal Conflicts” - review - Psychology of Effective Living - online magazine
Omsk State University
Psychology faculty
Abstract on the topic:
"CONFLICT IN C. HORNY'S THEORY"
Omsk-2002
Introduction
The problem of conflicts has been addressed in the works of various psychological schools and directions, in particular, in the psychodynamic direction. Conflict is the most important theoretical construct in the psychoanalytic concept, the key to understanding human mental life. The conflict is attributed to its original nature due to the contradictory nature of man. The main attention in psychoanalytic works was paid to internal (intrapsychic) conflicts of an unconscious nature. Interpersonal conflicts in the psychoanalytic tradition are also interpreted through the intrapersonal characteristics of a person. A persistent tendency towards interpersonal complications is, according to psychoanalysts, a consequence of distortions in a person’s basic attitudes that arise in his childhood.
In our work we will take a closer look at Karen Horney's views on the nature of internal conflicts and conflicts between the sexes. It is these two types of conflicts that are most clearly visible in her sociocultural theory of personality. Touching upon the problem of internal conflicts, we will also consider their differences in a normal and neurotic personality.
Internal conflicts
The essence of internal conflicts
Poets and philosophers of all times knew that a calm, balanced person never becomes a victim of a mental disorder, but only a person torn apart by internal conflicts is prone to their occurrence. According to Karen Horney, internal conflicts characterize a neurotic personality to a greater extent than a healthy one; in any case, a normally developing personality has more resources to overcome emerging internal conflicts than a neurotic person, they are able to recognize these conflicts and work with them.
The internal conflict is based on compulsive drives that are specifically neurotic. They are generated by feelings of isolation, helplessness, fear, hostility and represent ways of confronting the world contrary to the content of these feelings. They are aimed primarily not at satisfaction, but at achieving a state of security; their compulsive nature is caused by anxiety, secretly hiding behind them.
Unlike Z. Freud, who viewed internal conflicts as a battle between repressed and repressing forces, K. Horney presents them as a contradiction of many neurotic drives. Although conflicts were initially associated with conflicting attitudes toward others, over time conflicts were caused by conflicting attitudes toward oneself, conflicting qualities, and conflicting sets of values. Karen Horney was prompted to similar conclusions by observing the behavior of clients during psychotherapeutic work. During her practice, she was also able to identify the following main attempts to resolve conflicts:
belittling the importance of one of the conflicting drives and exalting the importance of its opposite.
"movement from people." Separation in this case is part of the basic conflict, that is, one of the conflicting attitudes towards others, which is expressed in an attempt to resolve the conflict by maintaining an emotional distance between “I” and others.
"movement from oneself." It is characterized by the fact that for the individual his true, integral “I” ceases to be partly real. In place of the real “I,” the neurotic creates an idealized image of himself, in which the conflicting sides are so modified that they no longer seem like such, but look like different sides of a rich personality.
The need for perfection now looks like an attempt to achieve conformity with one's idealized image. The desire to be admired can be seen as the neurotic person's need to have external confirmation that he really lives up to his idealized image.
Less important are such strategies as despotic justice, whose main function is to suppress all internal doubts, rigid self-control, which, through incredible willpower, restrains the torn personality from complete disintegration; and cynicism, which, disdainful of all values, excludes all conflicts generated by the incompatibility of ideals.
This is how the theory of neurosis developed, whose dynamic center forms the basic conflict between the attitudes of “movement towards people,” “movement against” and “movement from” people. But we will look at the basic conflict a little later, but for now we will focus on the comparison of “normal” and “neurotic” conflict.
Difference between conflicts between normal and neurotic personality
The type, scope, and intensity of conflicts are determined for the most part by the civilization in which we live. If a civilization is stable and traditions are strong, then the variety of choices available to us is limited and the range of possible conflicts between individuals is narrow.
Since conflicts often involve beliefs, faith, or moral values, acknowledging them suggests that we have developed our own value system. Merely borrowed beliefs that are not part of our “I” are unlikely to be powerful enough to cause conflict or serve as a leading criterion in decision making. Such beliefs, if influenced, are easily replaced by others. If we simply borrowed the values cultivated in our environment, then conflicts that are very important to us do not arise.
When we recognize the existence of a conflict as such, we must be able and willing to give up one of the conflicting beliefs. However, the ability to give up clearly and consciously is very rare because our feelings and beliefs are connected to each other, and also perhaps because in the process of analyzing them, most people do not feel secure and happy enough to give up anything at all.
Conscious participation in conflicts, although it may be painful, can be an invaluable virtue. The more we participate in our conflicts and look for our own solutions, the more inner freedom we have. The difficulties inherent in recognizing and resolving conflict increase disproportionately when it comes to neurotics. For a neurotic, awareness of feelings and desires is always a problem. Often the only clearly conscious feelings are reactions of fear and anger to blows inflicted on vulnerable areas. But even these feelings can be repressed.
Neurotic conflicts may be associated with the same general problems that confuse a normal person. But the conflicts are so different in appearance that the question has been raised whether it is acceptable to use the same term to refer to them. K. Horney believes that this is permissible provided that they are aware of their differences from each other.
What are the characteristic features of neurotic conflicts?
1. Absolute incompatibility of factors included in the conflict. For example, the demand for respect and the obedience seeking to induce favor.
2. The conflict as a whole remains unconscious. The contradictory tendencies operating within him are not realized and represent deeply repressed drives.
3. These tendencies are compulsive.
The fundamental difference between normal and neurotic conflicts is determined by the fact that the discrepancy between conflicting drives is much less significant for a normal person than for a neurotic. The choices that a normal person must make are limited to two courses of action, each of which is within the reach of a sufficiently integrated personality. The choice of a neurotic personality is complicated by the presence of many fears, doubts and contradictions. A normal conflict can be completely conscious. The neurotic conflict in all its essential elements is always unconscious. Even when a normal person is not aware of his conflict, he can achieve this with relative ease, whereas the essential drives that give rise to a neurotic conflict are deeply repressed and can only be discovered after overcoming the neurotic’s significant resistance.
Normal conflict concerns an actual choice between two possibilities, both of which his subject finds equally desirable, or between beliefs, each of which he actually values. Therefore, he is able to make a feasible decision, even if it turns out to be difficult for him. A neurotic person, suppressed by conflict, is not free in his choice. He is driven by equally coercive forces acting in opposite directions, neither of which he wants to follow. Therefore, decision-making in the usual sense is impossible for him.
These characteristic features explain the severity of neurotic conflicts. Such conflicts not only make a person helpless, but also have great destructive power, destructive for a neurotic.
The concept of basic conflict in the theory of Karen Horney
The belief in the existence of a basic conflict in the human personality dates back to antiquity and plays a prominent role in various religions and philosophical concepts. The forces of light and darkness, God and devil, good and evil are some of the antonyms with which this belief has been expressed. Following this conviction, S. Freud did pioneering work in modern psychology. His assumption was that a basic conflict exists between our instinctual drives with their blind desire for satisfaction and the prohibitive environment - family and society. K. Horney is convinced that although this is an important conflict, it is secondary.
To understand the origin of the problem, you need to refer to the concept basic anxiety. This is the feeling a child has when isolated and helpless in a potentially hostile world. A large number of hostile external factors can cause such a feeling of danger in a child: direct or indirect submission, indifference, erratic behavior, lack of attention to the individual needs of the child, lack of guidance, humiliation, too much admiration or lack of it, lack of genuine warmth, the need to occupy someone else's life. either a side in parental disputes, too much or too little responsibility, and so on.
The only factor that Horney pays special attention to in this context is the child's sense of hidden hypocrisy among the children around him: his feelings that his parents' love, honesty, nobility can only be a pretense. Part of what the child feels is actually pretense, but some of what he feels may be a reaction to all the contradictions he perceives in the behavior of his parents.
Exhausted by these disturbing factors, the child is looking for ways to a safe existence and survival in a threatening world. Despite his weakness and fear, he unconsciously shapes his tactical actions in accordance with the forces operating in his environment. By doing this, he not only creates behavioral strategies for a given case, but also develops stable inclinations of his character, which become part of his personality. At first, a rather chaotic picture emerges, but over time, three main strategies are isolated and formalized: the child can move towards people, against them, and away from them. This has already been discussed above, but now we will look at these strategies in more detail.
Moving towards people, he recognizes his own helplessness and, despite his alienation and fears, tries to win their love and rely on them. Only in this way can he feel safe with them. If there is disagreement between family members, he will side with the most powerful member or group of members. By submitting to them, he gains a sense of belonging and support that makes him feel less weak and less isolated.
When the child moves against people he accepts and takes for granted the state of enmity with the people around him and is driven, consciously or unconsciously, to fight against them. He strongly distrusts the feelings and intentions of others regarding himself. He wants to be stronger and defeat them, partly for his own protection, partly out of revenge.
When he moves away from people, he neither wants to belong nor to fight, his only desire is to stay away. The child feels that he does not have much in common with the people around him, that they do not understand him at all. He builds a world out of himself - in accordance with his dolls, books and dreams, his character.
In each of these three attitudes, one of the elements basic anxiety dominates all others: helplessness in the first, hostility in the second and isolation in the third. Dominant attitude is the one that most strongly determines actual behavior.
From a normal person's point of view, there is no reason to consider these three attitudes to be mutually exclusive. It is necessary to give in to others, fight and protect yourself. These three attitudes can complement each other and contribute to the development of a harmonious, holistic personality. However, in neurosis there are several reasons why these attitudes are incompatible. The neurotic is not flexible, he is driven to submission, to struggle, to a state of alienation, regardless of whether his actions correspond to a given specific circumstance, and he ends up in panic if he acts otherwise. Therefore, when all three attitudes are expressed to a strong degree, the neurotic inevitably finds himself in a serious conflict.
Thus, the conflict generated by the incompatibility of attitudes constitutes the core of neuroses and for this reason is basic.
Conflict between the sexes
The relationship between a man and a woman, according to Karen Horney, is in many ways similar to the relationship between parents and children, in which we prefer to focus on the positive aspects. We want to believe that love is some fundamental factor, and hostility is just an accidental circumstance that can be completely avoided, although we all know slogans like “battle of the sexes”, “hostility between the sexes” and “conflict of the sexes”, we must admit that we are not inclined to attach special importance to them. Analyzing many case histories, K Horney comes to the conclusion that love relationships quite often break down due to open or hidden hostility. And yet, people tend to attribute these difficulties to the person's ignorance, incompatibility of partners, or economic and social reasons.
K Horney writes that individual factors that people consider to be the cause of conflicts between men and women may well occur. However, due to the enormous prevalence of troubles in love relationships, we can say that they all have a common source.
This atmosphere of suspicion is largely understandable; it does not seem to be associated with a specific partner, but rather with the intensity of the affect in the state of love and the inability to cope with it. It is known that such affects can lead to ecstasy, unbalance a person, abandon oneself, that is, make a leap into the boundless and boundless. This is why true passion is so rare. As a good businessman, we are afraid to invest all our money in one thing. We try to be restrained and always ready to retreat. Our instinct of self-preservation causes a natural fear of losing ourselves in another person... A person tends not to notice how little he gives to another, but easily detects this flaw in his partner, feeling that “you never really loved me.”
Each of us, K. Horney believes, is inclined, to a certain extent, to forget about our own hostile impulses and, under the yoke of our guilty conscience, project them onto our partner. Such a process naturally causes open or hidden distrust of the partner’s love, fidelity, sincerity or goodwill, and, therefore, leads in general to distrust between the sexes.
Horney highlights another source of disappointment and mistrust in love, which can hardly be avoided. It lies in the fact that the very intensity of the feeling of love awakens all our secret expectations and dreams of happiness, dormant in the depths of our soul. All our unconscious desires, contradictory in nature and limitlessly spreading in all directions, await their fulfillment here. The partner must be strong and at the same time helpless, lead and be led, be ascetic and sensual. He must rape us and be gentle, give us all his free time and be intensely creative. While we believe that he can actually fulfill all these expectations, he is surrounded by an aura of sexual overestimation. We take the scale of this revaluation as the measure of our love, although in fact it only reflects our expectations. The very nature of our claims makes their use impossible, and, consequently, disappointment sets in. Under favorable conditions, we do not even notice most of our disappointments, just as we are not aware of the scale of our secret expectations. But traces of mistrust remain in us, “like a child who discovered that his father still cannot get a star from the sky.”
What specific factors in the course of human development lead to a discrepancy between expectations and their implementation, and why do they take on special significance in some cases? The paradise of childhood is nothing more than an illusion that adults love to entertain themselves with. For a child, this “paradise” is full of various negative aspects. One of them is negative experiences with the opposite sex. From a very early age, children are capable of instinctive, sometimes passionate, sexual desires, similar to those of adults, and yet different. It is difficult for them to express their desires directly, but even if they succeed, they are usually not taken seriously by others. The seriousness of the desire is mistaken for a prank or not noticed at all, rejected. That is, the child goes through a painful and humiliating experience of rejection, betrayal and lies from adults. He is forced to take second place in relations between parents and older brothers and sisters. He cannot give vent to his rage completely, or even alleviate it; he cannot comprehend his experiences and understand what is happening. Thus, anger and aggression are locked inside him, and since the child is not able to understand the nature of the destructive forces raging within him, he feels threatened by adults (the basic conflict discussed above). It is when love arises that the old childhood fear of father or mother awakens and forces us to instinctively take a defensive position. In other words, the fear of love is always imbued with the fear of what we might do to another person, or what he might do to us. That is, unresolved conflicts in childhood affect attitudes towards the opposite sex.
Dislike for a partner may arise due to the fact that he is not able to give us what is very important to us, taking for granted and devaluing what he actually gives. Over time, the unattainable turns into a mesmerizing goal, brightly illuminated by our knowledge that this is what we “really” want to begin with. On the other hand, we may be opposed to him for fulfilling our desires, because their very fulfillment turned out to be incompatible with our contradictory inner aspirations.
The reason for hostility towards a partner is our imperfection, writes K. Horney. The shortcomings of a spouse undoubtedly appear over many years of family life. They move a snowball, small at first, but steadily growing as it rolls down the mountain of time, thereby leading to conflicts. In addition, our reluctance to make more efforts, both externally and internally, than necessary, plays a large role in the emergence of hostility. First of all, we must change our personal attitude towards an internal renunciation of demands on a partner.
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Our Inner Conflicts
Publisher: Academic Project
Preface
This book is dedicated to the achievements of psychoanalysis. It grew out of personal experience of analytical work with patients and with myself. Although the theory she presents was several years in the making, it was only after I undertook the preparation of a series of lectures with the assistance of the American Institute of Psychoanalysis that my ideas finally crystallized. The first part, concentrating on the technical aspects of psychoanalysis, was published under the title “Problems of psychoanalytic technique” (1943). The second part, related to the problems discussed here, was published in 1944 under the title “Integration of the Personality.” Separate topics - “Integration of personality in psychoanalytic therapy”, “Psychology of isolation” and “The meaning of sadistic tendencies” were presented to the Academy of Medicine and, even earlier, to the Association for the Achievements of Psychoanalysis. I hope that this book will be useful to psychoanalysts seriously interested in the development of our theory and therapy. I also hope that they will not only take the ideas presented here to their patients, but also apply them to themselves. Progress in psychoanalysis can only be achieved through hard work, including working on ourselves and our own problems. If we remain static and incapable of change, then our theories are doomed to sterility and dogmatism.
I hope that this book will be useful to psychoanalysts seriously interested in the development of our theory and therapy. I also hope that they will not only take the ideas presented here to their patients, but also apply them to themselves. Progress in psychoanalysis can only be achieved through hard work, including working on ourselves and our own problems. If we remain static and incapable of change, then our theories are doomed to sterility and dogmatism.
Nevertheless, I am convinced that any book that goes beyond the discussion of purely technical issues of psychoanalysis or beyond the boundaries of abstract psychoanalytic theory should also be useful to all those who want to know themselves and who have not given up the struggle for their own progress. Most of us living in this complex civilization are overwhelmed by the conflicts described in this book and need our help. Although serious neuroses must be treated by specialists, I am still convinced that with due effort we ourselves can go a long way in unraveling our own conflicts.
My first gratitude goes to my patients, whose joint work allowed me to better understand the nature of neurosis. I am also indebted to my colleagues, whose interest and compassion have supported my work. I am referring not only to my more mature colleagues, but also to the younger ones who have trained at our institute, with whom the critical discussions have been stimulating and fruitful.
I would like to mention three people outside of psychoanalysis, each of whom in their own way helped me in this work. It was Dr. Alvin Johnson who gave me the opportunity to present my ideas at the New School for Social Research at a time when classical Freudian analysis was the only recognized school of psychoanalytic theory and practice. I am especially indebted to Claire Mayer,
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Karen Horney argued that the influence of society, the relationship with parents and the culture in which the child was raised are decisive in the development of a person’s personality. According to her theory, a child needs two things: satisfaction of biological needs (food, sleep, etc.) and safety. It is the second category that plays the main role in development. If parents truly love a child, he feels that he will be protected in any situation and will not be abandoned. His need for security is satisfied, and his personality is formed correctly.
If the situation is the opposite, for example, parents mock the child, do not fulfill their promises to him, overprotect him, show that other children are more important to them, then there is a risk of pathology in mental development.
Most often, such children develop basal hostility. He simultaneously experiences strong resentment and dependence on his parents' opinion. This internal conflict triggers the repression mechanism. The survival instinct suppresses feelings of hostility towards parents, and the individual’s behavior is regulated by feelings such as fear, helplessness, and guilt. Subsequently, the child reproduces this model of behavior in relationships with other people. He always subconsciously feels in danger.
Horney believes that children's basal anxiety, which develops as a result of disturbances in relationships with parents, is a prerequisite for adult neuroses. To overcome anxiety, helplessness and hostility, the child develops defensive behavioral strategies. Horney identified 10 of them, calling them neurotic needs:
- painful perception of someone else's opinion, criticism, excessive desire to feel love, hear praise from other people;
- dependence on a partner, need for someone else’s guidance;
- the need for restrictions, routines established by other people;
- desire to control others;
- fear of being used by another person for personal gain;
- self-esteem is formed depending on status in society;
- the desire to appear better than one really is in the eyes of other people;
- morbid ambition, fear of failure, desire for leadership;
- in relationships, the desire to avoid obligations to another person;
- the importance of maintaining the image of a virtuous person close to perfection.
A neurotic person’s reaction to a situation is formed only taking into account the above needs.
In his Constructive Theory of Neuroses, Horney classifies needs as follows:
- “people-oriented”;
- “orientation against people”;
- "people-oriented"
In the vast majority of cases, a neurotic personality focuses his behavior on the needs of one of these three classes.
Depending on this, Horney identifies three personality types:
- Compliant. Such people are driven, others-oriented, and not decisive. The main behavior strategy: “I will give in, and they will love me and not offend me.”
- Separated. A person separates from society, fences himself off for his own safety. His strategy: “I will be indifferent, detached, and will not be touched.”
- Hostile. A person strives for power, thinking that this will help him protect himself. Even if his behavior is friendly, the goal is always the same - control and power over other people.
The described behavioral strategies come into conflict both in people with a healthy personality type and in neurotics; this happens painfully, causing a strong surge of emotions. A healthy person reacts flexibly to circumstances, choosing the appropriate course of behavior. The neurotic personality type is characterized by the application of one chosen strategy to most situations.
In the subconscious of a neurotic, a certain ideal is formed, which requires the true “I” to correspond to the invented ideal image. According to Horney's theory, this is an internal basal conflict, which is a trigger for character neurosis. Character neurosis differs from the situational complexity of therapy. The work of the psychotherapist in this case is aimed at neutralizing the impact of the destructive subconscious ideal on behavior.
In “The Constructive Theory of Neurosis,” Horney identifies the impossible demands of the ideal “I,” which are the cause of neurotic behavior: “I will become happy only if I do not make mistakes. I can achieve anything if I want." Usually all the aspirations of a neurotic end here. He is so afraid of failure that he does not start a single serious business. “I will only become happy if all people love and admire me.” Usually a neurotic person is ready to do anything to be loved, including pressing for pity and bribing. “If I’m not better than everyone else, then I’m nobody.” A neurotic person has a hard time accepting the successes of others, and is unable to constructively evaluate his own. “Popularity and fame = happiness.”
All the neurotic's energy is spent trying to please others. “I made a mistake, which means I’m a complete zero.” Fear of making a mistake becomes the reason for total inaction and a lack of personal goals in a neurotic person. “My worth depends only on the opinions of others.” The impossible desire to please everyone eventually turns into hatred of people. “I must take advantage of every opportunity to advance, otherwise I will regret it.”
Such beliefs lead to a person being scattered about a hundred unimportant things, instead of choosing a specific direction of movement. “He argues with me, which means he doesn’t love me.” Intolerance to criticism greatly complicates the life of a neurotic, since he himself is unable to adequately evaluate himself.
Horney also notes the reason for the frequent manifestation of neurotic needs in women in relationships. Society treats the rights of men and women differently. In a woman’s subconscious, a conflict arises between the roles of wife, mother and independent careerist. This makes a woman feel pathologically dependent on men and express neurotic demands.
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Series: "Psychological technologies" This book completes a series of works on the theory of neurosis and provides the first systematic presentation in world practice of the theory of neurosis - the causes of neurotic conflicts, their development and treatment. The constructive theory of neurosis developed by K. Horney still remains unsurpassed in the breadth and depth of its explanation of neurotic conflicts. It includes an exhaustive classification of neurotic personality types; basic neurotic drives and their connection with the basic conflict; contains an analysis of all the main methods of defense and methods of genuine resolution of neurotic conflicts. Publisher: "Academic Project" (2007) Format: 84x108/32, 224 pages.
Karen Horney moved to the United States from Germany in 1932 to work at the Chicago Psychoanalytic Institute. As a result, she was able to analyze the extent to which the cultural environment influences the formation of neurotic behavior: “then I saw that relationships between people and neuroses in this country [the USA] differ in many ways from those that I observed in European countries. And that this can only be explained by differences in civilizations” [Karen Horney - Our Internal Conflicts]. Neurosis is formed by the influence of the surrounding social environment and the destruction of human relationships. Orthodox psychoanalysis focuses on genetic and instinctive causes (for example, the suppression of instincts [by culture] leads to the formation of neurosis [for example, the Oedipus complex]). As a result, the meaning of therapy changes. The goal of orthodox psychoanalysis is to help you cope with your instincts. According to Horney, the goal of therapy is to restore relationships with people and oneself, to find a foothold in oneself, to get rid of neurotic defense mechanisms that only partially help a person cope with life’s difficulties, but on a deeper look, block the possibility of a normal life. The basis of any neurosis is usually seen as an internal conflict (a struggle between something and something in the human psyche). Neurotic conflict according to Freud is a struggle between repressed (instincts) and repressing forces (culture). Neurotic conflict according to Horney is a struggle of incompatible combinations between several neurotic inclinations. By neurotic tendencies (the term was introduced by Horney), Horney understood compulsive (obsessive) desires (also understood as the basis of neurosis). Horney considered one of the main neurotic tendencies to be a compulsive need for love and a compulsive desire for power. The neurotic desire for love and neurotic rivalry may be in conflict with each other - it is impossible to go over people's heads and take care of them (expecting to receive love in return). In principle, even for a healthy person, competition will mean a deficit in showing love and receiving love (love in the broad sense of the word). Neurotic tendencies usually have a function (hidden benefit). Ultimately, it comes down to removing or mitigating the anxiety of a particular individual. Other books on similar topics:
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